There was once this guy and he kind of stayed to himself a lot and he was kind of rich- he wasn't that rich- but he lived in this neighborhood, in this dark neighborhood, and he got real bored, just kinda sitting around in the coolness and everything.
And one day he decided to, you know rob a bank. So he got up one night about two o'clock and got in his car and drove until he came to a bank, and he got out, and he went inside and he broke through the window and the teller was still in there but he was just doing some bookkeeping and everything. And so he went in and he told the guy that he wanted all they money. He scared the teller, and so the teller had to give him the money.
And so as the guy is leaving, the teller grabbed a gun and told him to stop or that he'd fire some warning shots at him. And so as he was leaving, the teller shot him and hit him and wounded him. So he got in the car and he drove and he drove and he drove and he drove, you know, a good part of the town until he came to a semi-full, semi-whole part of a neighborhood where he found kind of a neighborhood doctor's office.
And he went inside and he told the doctor that he had been in an accident and a gun had gone off and hit him, and that he wanted him to operate on him, and he said he'd better operate on him or he'd kill him, you know. So the doctor said he would. He took him in his office and put him on the operating table and they stayed in there for about five hours. And then it was real quiet in there.
And finally the door opened and the doctor came out. And they walked out and the criminal said, "Okay, I've got the gun, and I'm going to go ahead and leave now, you know, and then I'm going to put the gun in my coat, and I'm not going to hurt you. Thank you for giving me the operation. Just don't make any false moves and everything will be alright."
And the doctor said, "Well, you're not going to hurt me, because I gave the operation to myself."
-from "Openers II"
